The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
