Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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