I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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