I hate your face
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
