You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
