so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
