i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
