I am in a vortex of obligation.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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