Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
