i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
