Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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