Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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