yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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