and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
