This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
