I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
