Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
