He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
