fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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