Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
