she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize