alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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