I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
