he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
