I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
