Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
