Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
