I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
