We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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