you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
