We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize