just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
