i think my tv is drunk
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
