think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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