No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
