yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
