I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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