At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
