Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
