You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im part way to drunk.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
