Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
