after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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