Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
