This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
