The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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