4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize