dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
