Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
