how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
