were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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