i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
