How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize