He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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