Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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