Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
