New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
