Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
