I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
