is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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